Jack and Jill went up the hill, but Jill came down faster!

February 13, 2010
Once upon a time there was a fair maiden teaching at a school in Kathmandu, Nepal. One sunny day after several days of rain and fog, the staff of this school released their captive students into the wild of Kantipur, a community a mere 45 minutes from the school. On this remote mountainside overlooking Kathmandu valley and the Himalayas the students’ bags erupted with picnic supplies from home- rice, curry, dahl, chilis- all very unusual picnic supplies for this western maiden. The teachers were provided with an excellent lunch of churrah (beaten dry rice), potato and cauliflower curry, chicken, and incredibly spicy “pickle.” A feast fit for, well, teachers on a picnic I suppose!

After eating more than they probably should have, the students quickly headed into the forest-jungle to explore this world so foreign to students held captive in the city most of the year! Following their lead, the four young male instructors from the school invited the maiden to join them on a hike through the forest-jungle in search of a better view of the valley far below. Eager to explore, the maiden jumped at the chance to hike and set out with the others, admiring the beauty and greenness of the land which had just become drunk on the rain of two days.

Enthralled with the beauty of the trees and the birds dancing between them, the maiden gazed up, ignoring the brown of the beaten path beneath her feet. Suddenly, the slick mud beneath her feet decided to move to a new home further down the mountain. With a startled cry, the maiden began to tumble down the mountain, becoming disoriented and frantic. After a few split seconds that felt like an eternity, she stopped abruptly with the help of a sudden connection of her head and knee to two large rocks. After the second of shock passed, a frantic hysteria set in, and the tears streamed down her face, making clean paths through her dirt covered face.

Suddenly, four sets of hands were trying to pull her up, this way and that, and in pain, she pulled back and begged them to let her sit for a few moments before moving, as there was throbbing pain in her elbow, knee, head and hip. She quickly composed herself, reassured that everything still moved and was still attached. The four eager yet shocked knights helped her up the mountain, back to the picnic spot where they attended to her wounds. Feeling very ashamed for ending their adventure early, she begged them to go on without her, but to no avail.

So, two set out to attain pain medicine from a small shop down the mountain a little ways while the others made sure everything did indeed move on its own and asked repeatedly to make sure she didn’t need to go to the hospital. In retrospect, she should have gone, but she was a very stubborn maiden and the only people who could get her to the hospital are her parents and her friend Katie. Besides, while there was some swelling in her knee and arm, they were still working, so, she figured she’d save the money. After about an hour’s worth of good conversation the teachers rounded up their freed children to return them to the captivity of the school.

Returning home that night, the maiden’s Uncle asked if she needed to go to the hospital, but, still stubborn (especially so because there were guests at the home), the maiden insisted that she was ok. However, the next night, the pain had increased substantially, mainly because the bruises had started to really develop and the muscles had become tight in the cool night air. As she finally explained all her injuries to Uncle including two very sore lumps on her head, he insisted that they go to the hospital the next morning to do X-rays.

Now, the maiden wasn’t sure what to expect at the hospital, as she was a little ethnocentric and couldn’t imagine that this hospital would compare to the western hospitals she was accustomed to. And she was right, it didn’t compare, at least in the building part of it. However, the emergency doctor she saw was the most peaceful, careful doctor she’d ever met, and he slowly but confidently examined her injuries one by one. After ensuring there was no brain trauma (no memory loss, no dizzieness, no pain in her brain, etc) and that it was all superficial (her skull only pained when it was touched or when she ate) he moved on to her arm and knee. Both were swollen and bruised, and he was concerned when he gently massaged her kneecap and felt something moving. To make sure it wasn’t anything serious, he ordered X-rays of both her arm and knee, stating that unless the pain in her head increased, there wasn’t anything that could be done for that anyway.

Now, for as gentle the emergency room doctor was, the X-ray technition was the polar opposite, and the maiden was sure that if her arm and knee weren’t broken before, they would be when he finished with her. As she spoke limited Nepali and he spoke limited English, the only thing he could do was move her limbs as he needed them to be. Which in turn caused some pain, to say the least! But, finally, the X-rays were finished, and the doctor looked at them, and assured the maiden that there was no damage that he could see from them. He referred her to visit a specialist the next day to make sure that he wasn’t missing anything on the X-rays. Other than that, he told her to “take rest and drink lots of water” in order to speed the healing process.

Not sure what to expect for the cost, the maiden was amazed to find out that the entire visit (X-rays, doctor’s fees, etc.) cost a mere 850 Rupees. About $11. As someone who was well acquainted with the emergency room her sophomore year of college (she made three visits in one semester, all for very valid reasons at the insistence of her friend Katie), this was an incredibly low fee. One she was very thankful for. And the moral of this story is that if you get hurt, fly to Nepal for care because the airfare may be cheaper than your medical bills in the US. But if you need X-rays, either learn Nepali before going in to see the technician or don’t get X-rays. Your choice. Or, you could not be a klutz and fall off a mountain. That would solve a lot of problems actually. But as the knights said, this is one picnic that the maiden will never forget!