Mmmm... Give me some of that Red Meat!

September 27, 2009
“Everybody’s got a water buffalo; yours is fast and mine is slow...” Ok, well, maybe not everone has a water buffalo, but people do enjoy eating buffalo meat here. To start the adventure, Lauxman asked Chloe and I if we wanted to go with him to the butcher’s to buy some of this rare but coveted meat. And I was all game; I love buffalo in the US, so why not here, right?

Well, we walked down the street, past all the butchery’s I know and see on a daily basis, and turned onto a street I’ve never been down before. To my complete surprise (and the surprise of my stomache as well!), there, in a vacant plot of land, overgrown with weeds and overrun with wild dogs, we had set up the butcher’s shop. There was a random buffalo leg lying next to the road, and a huge (VERY unsanitary) blue tarp with over 30 piles of chopped buffalo meat, bones and all. Actually, I don’t know why that leg got left out; you eat everything here. Never mind. I don’t want to know what was so awful that even they wouldn’t eat that leg.

So, anyway, back to the piles of meat, bone, and other indiscernible pieces (I don’t know where the skin was... I didn’t ever see it)... on top of each pile was a small black bag, and Chloe and I decided it must contain the “choice” cuts of meat. And there was a man standing in the middle of the piles, smoking, and waving this stick as if to ward off the millions of flies dancing over their new find. He was losing his battle, badly! And all the while, the wild dogs were growling and fighting (real dog fights; not the Michael Vick kind. Real life, “you’ve got a bone and that’s the first bone I’ve seen in years” dog fight). So, when Lauxman finally got his 3 kg of meat for us to take home, I was more than happy to be off from that pristine butchery!

So, we get home, and Lauxman starts chopping the meat into small pieces, with the ease and skill of someone who’s done this hundreds of times before. In humor, he asked Chloe if she wanted a whack at it. She said she would, as long as we didn’t laugh at her with the knife (remember the whole chicken episode?!). We agreed with our fingers crossed, and she began chopping the meat. She wasn’t bad, really!

So, then, she finished the meat, and all that was left was in the little black bag. So, Lauxman asked me, and I said sure, why not. So, I look at the contents, and I knew I was looking at the stomach, but I wasn’t sure what everything else was... probably better, to be honest. So, he shows me how to hold the knife with my feet and rub the meat on the blade to cut it. I was pretty sure I was going to amputate my own finger with this method, but I tried it and did ok.

Pastor Krishna came home when I was about halfway through, and he laughed and said, “Oh, you bought a Hebuffalo!” In confusion, I said, what’s a “hebuffalo?” Looking for help in explaining from his wife and Chloe, his wife attempted to explain more clearly. “From what you’re cutting, it’s a son of a buffalo.” And I definitely thought I was cutting intestines. And my very city-slicker stomach turned a little funny, and suddenly the smell was overpowering. I just stopped and looked at them. And Pastor continued to laugh, and said “We don’t cut that until after we’ve boiled it.” Lauxman was laughing so hard, but he came to my rescue and grabbed all the meat to go boil it and clean it (well, I hope!)! So, I calmly got up, and went to the sink, and scrubbed my hands like they’ve never been scrubbed before. And today, I suppose I will eat the fruits of my labor, or would that be the meats of my labor?!