The Demise of the (poor) Chicken

September 23, 2009 *DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE SQUEAMISH OR WEAK STOMACHED!!! YOU’VE BEEN WARNED.* Today we killed a chicken. Well, actually, Didi asked me if I’d like to kill the chicken, and I burst out laughing and said, absolutely not, but I will video it! Then Asa asked me if I’d like to catch it’s blood spurting body after the head was chopped off, and again, my answer was, absolutely not! I will before I leave (cut it’s head off; I probably won’t ever want to run to catch a chicken with a volcano of blood spurting from it’s severed head!), but not today. So, Chloe, the brave and exciting Australian stepped up to the plate. She quickly stated that she was a little squeamish at the idea herself... So, the girls went up to the roof to pick out the chicken. That poor chicken. I wonder if they know that when they’re selected as “The One” they’ll never come back to their friends. I hope not. I hope they’re surprised at their sudden fate. Kinda like The Island (that one’s for you Katie, Phill and Brandee; see I didn’t sleep through that movie!). Anyway, back to the killing of helpless animals... We (ehem... THEY) brought the chicken outside, and Didi came following with this crude thick metal knife and a wood stump. So Chloe bravely stretched the neck over the wood block, and the girls started screaming, “DON’T CUT YOUR FINGER, SISTER! YOUR FINGER! WATCH YOUR FINGER!!!!!!” So, Didi ran over and grabbed the body from Asa, and pulled it out further, to ensure there was enough room to slice the neck. I don’t know if you’ve ever going to kill a chicken, but if you do, please make sure the knife is sharp first! With a “Whaphk!” Chloe brought down the knife! Only to have the chicken quickly retract it’s head and neck close to it’s body! For a split second, no one could figure out what happened, then, we couldn’t stop laughing. The knife had barely made a mark. So, Chloe stretched out the neck again, and “Whaphk Whaphk whaphk...” over and over again, and slowly, the head began to come off! The chicken’s poor little legs thought they were running, but Didi held tight. After over 20 strikes at the poor little soul, Chloe determined that the most humane way to finish this delicate job was to saw the head off. So, she finished the job, and the chicken had not energy left to run. Didi, laughing as hard as I’ve ever seen her laugh, just looked at the head and the body then back to the head, and shook her own head! It was quite possibly the funniest thing I’ve seen since arriving (please don’t take offense, animal lovers, it wasn’t intentional!!!)! With a quite anti climatic finish, Didi laid down the body, and it’s legs just kinda moved as if underwater... and then it rested. After, we sharpened the knife (what? well, when I kill the chicken, we will sharpen the knife beforehand!!!) and Didi began to strip the chicken... We’ll be having that for a few days now. Innards and all! I’ll try to upload the video from it, if it’ll work :). Hope you enjoyed the killing of the chicken!